So E3 is over and everyone is talking about what games they’re looking for.
2017 has been a fantastic year for gaming, with a lot of games I really want to play like Yakuza 0, Nier: Automata, Tekken 7, etc. But when it comes to E3, it’s up to the publisher’s conferences to get us hyped up for a game…only to be disappointed when it finally gets released.
I will talk about most of the conferences I managed to watch but did miss a couple for reasons I’ll explain.
EA: I don’t know, something about sports games, a new Need for Speed game, an indie game called A Way Out, where you and another friend or someone online play as two guys escaping prison. It’s made by the same people who developed the pretty good Brothers: A Tale of Two Sons. This one intrigued me out of anything from this conference, though it’s not on the anticipated list.
Then EA showed off a new IP from Bioware, probably trying to get a grip after the mess that was Mass Effect: Andromeda. It’s called Anthem and the trailer looked OK…AND BACK TO MORE SPORTS GAMES!!! Yep, Anthem was considered a footnote in the conference.
And finally, we have Star Wars Battlefront II, which now has more stuff in it because people understandably complained about the lack of anything in the first game…yep, that reminds me of Titanfall, only this game will sell well because STAR WARS! We have a single player campaign that people wanted, more maps from the movies, more characters you love and…FREE DLC!!! EA, are you all right? Well, I’m still not interested, because if it ain’t on Steam, I don’t care.
This conference was meh, none of the games interested me (maybe apart from A Way Out), and there’s more nonsense about innovation, diversity or some other s*** I blanked.
Next up is Microsoft: WORLD EXCLUSIVE!!! They finally announced that new Project Scorpio and it’s called…the Xbox One X…really Microsoft? You just decided to take Nintendo’s route and be even more inconsistent with the naming of your consoles. Keep in mind that they already have an Xbox One S in the market so parents are going to be confused.
So, after all that hype…it’s kind of like the PS4 Pro in that the game will look marginally better so long as you have a 4K TV, because if you still have your normal HD TV, then there’s no point in getting one, just stick to an Xbox One S.
42 games were announced, with near enough half of them actually being exclusive to the console alone. We have highlights like Forza Motorsport 7 and that Porsche 911 you can’t afford but it’s in the conference because Microsoft has money to burn.
Actually, there were three games I’m actually anticipated for. Firstly, Dragon Ball FightersZ. The game actually looks like the anime, and has fighting mechanics from Arc System Works’ previous games like Blazblue and Guilty Gear.
Secondly, Cuphead, that game that got delayed many times, has finally got a release date, September 2017.
And finally, The Last Night, I look forward to this beautiful game, and yes, I know of the controversies concerning the developer (which I understand and agree with a bit of his viewpoints). So if you don’t want to support him like I don’t want to support Phil Fish, then go ahead (and yes, Fez is on my blacklist…and also lingering on my Steam library with regret).
And then Microsoft launched a bombshell that made people’s jaw drop with joy: The Xbox One will eventually be able to play Original Xbox games, a complete slap in the face towards Sony and that guy who said we don’t need backwards compatibility on the PS4…even though it’s the one thing everyone has asked for you pricks. What I find funny is that this announcement got a bigger round of applause than the announcement of the Xbox One X.
Oh, and we got gameplay footage of Anthem, which reminds me of Dark Void but the flying sections might play better…not to crap on Dark Void, that was…OK.
So this conference was really good, we got many announcements of game after game after WORLD EXCLUSIVES!!! After WORLD PREMIERE!!! and I have a small chunk of games I want to play. So the Microsoft conference, which I thought would be a letdown, was the best conference so far.
Bethesda: Yeah…they had a conference. This was one I skipped seeing as it was early in the morning and it was one I didn’t really care much for. So they announced Dishonored 2 DLC, Wolfenstein sequel, Doom VR, Skyrim for the Switch, which includes The Legend of Zelda gear like Link’s blue tunic and the Master Sword, both look like a sore thumb, at least with modding, you had a choice of whether you want everything to look silly. There’s also The Evil Within 2, a sequel to a game I forget existed until I see it in a game shelf.
And then there’s the Creation Club…and paid mods are implemented…and everyone just facepalmed and going, “You f****** what mate?”. Keep in mind that Steam tried to do the same thing and it was an utter disaster to the point that the paid mods were removed. I don’t know what Bethesda was thinking with this nonsense.
PC Gaming Show:
Devolver Digital: A scathing parody of E3, gaming and implimented bulls***…and the host’s head explodes. It’s weird, wonderful and something we needed, I recommend watching the conference, it’s 15 minutes, but it’s worth it.
Ubisoft: I was hoping for some cringe, so let’s see if we can find any. First up…Mario + Rabbids Kingdom Battle…why is this a thing, and why the F*** DOES IT LOOK…alright? Yeah, it’s not like Rayman could have worked, here’s French Minions to annoy the f*** out of us. Well at least it’s another Nintendo Switch game so it’s something to play at least. And Shigeru Miyamoto wanting to gun down everyone in the spirit of America.
We have Assassin’s Creed Origins (AKA, WE WUZ KANGZ!)…eh. The Crew 2…eh. Far Cry 5, I haven’t played a Far Cry game since 3, the best game in the series so far. And yes, I understand the subject matter of killing villainous religious white people offending…well white people, but think about it, had this game been released 10 years ago, people would except it, but thanks to political correctness needlessly (for the most part) villainizing white people in general, Brexit, and the US President, I can understand where some are coming from, but if the developer of The Last Night wanted to talk about the liberals and some of their madness, I think we can have a game about right-wingers and some of their crazies. But one thing is for certain, that petition to replace the white villains with Muslims is pretty f****** stupid.
Anyway, DLC about Steep…that was a thing wasn’t it. And then…wait, Just Dance 2018, that can only mean one thing…CRINGE, BEAUTIFUL CRINGE, OH HOW I MISSED YOU SO. Shame it didn’t last long.
It seems Ubisoft is jumping in the toys-to-life bandwagon as they announced Starlink: Battle for Atlas, where you can build your own spaceship and they showed how it worked on the Nintendo Switch…considering that it will also be released on the PlayStation 4 and Xbox One…X?
But the big announcement was saved for last: Beyond Good and Evil 2…and it looks nothing like the first game and seems to be more adult-orientated…swearing like a b****** doesn’t make you mature, it was silly. Well at least we know one person would faint with joy…I will NOT name that very person.
The Ubisoft conference was pretty good, none of the games interested me, I’ll give Beyond Good and Evil 2 a go once I play the first one…I’m just wondering how Ubisoft will f*** it up with Season Passes and DLC and such. It’s a shame the conference wasn’t as cringeworthy as previous ones…oh well, next!
Sony: AAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUHHHHHH! What a complete disappointment, this was the conference I was looking forward to the most next to Nintendo. Most of the games announced were from last year, I would be excited for Monster Hunter: World if I ever played one, Bossman Kratos…I mean God of War, looks pretty good. We’re also getting a remastered version of Shadow of the Colossus…wait, I thought it was remastered for PS3.
Then they announced VR games that NOBODY cares about. And then we got gameplay from the new Spider-Man game, which looks pretty good and I hope it surpasses Spider-Man 2: The Video Game (PLAY IT, PLAY THAT GAME, IT IS THE BEST SPIDER-MAN GAME YOU’LL EVER PLAY!!!)
Yeah, for every game they announced, it got golf claps…not looking good Sony. But by far the oddest announcement was Undertale for PS4 and PS Vita…OK.
So Sony’s conference wasn’t all that good, I expected better…nothing more.
And finally, Nintendo. 25 minutes…OK, I was going out that day so short but sweet? Let’s see. It’s a pre-recorded presentation rather than a live conference…even though said presentation was live.
So Rocket League is coming to Switch and it will be cross-play between other devices, nice one Nintendo! We got gameplay for Kirby and Yoshi, both games for the Nintendo Switch. We have the announcement of a core Pokémon game on the Switch in development.
But it wasn’t the only game that was announced in development, to the shock, awe and celebration of many, there will be a Metroid Prime 4, and HOLY S***! was I happy with this news, seeing as I’ve become a fan of the series after Super Metroid, and the fact that I’m still currently playing Prime 3, which is fantastic so far, this made me howl with joy…I mean sure, we haven’t seen anything yet and it’s not made by Retro Studios but someone else, but the fact that we’re getting a new Metroid game is good enough for anyone at the moment. Oh, and it seems Other M never happened…F*** YEAH!
By the way…WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO RETRO STUDIOS?
And finally, we get more gameplay footage of Super Mario Odyssey and OH MAN does it look great and the open-world structure is…I WANT THIS GAME SO MUCH! But there’s a new gameplay element in Odyssey: the ability to possess most things in the game. That is…very original, something refreshing whilst being a Mario game many people have always wanted.
OH, but it wasn’t over yet, as when I went out, I found out that Nintendo announced a remastered version of Mario & Luigi: Superstar Saga for the 3DS…AND THEN THEY ANNOUNCED METROID: SAMUS RETURNS AND IT’S COMING OUT THIS YEAR…
Yeah f*** it, Nintendo won this by a longshot, I don’t care about any other conference, you give me TWO METROID GAMES, and I’m going to be excited as f***. Welcome back Samus, you deserve a comeback…as well as other characters but one at a time.
So E3 2017 was…meh, through all the excitement, I never cared about most of the games announced and there was only a small bunch of games I really want to play and seeing the bunch of games that were announced are the types I’ll play when I play this game or maybe when I really give a damn one Sunday afternoon.
But in my opinion, Nintendo pretty much won because here’s the games, have a nice day, no crap about innovation and the best experience with the best graphics, none of that crap, and I was still satisfied with that, so long as the games were hype, and it sure was, and I look forward to purchasing a Nintendo Switch, just so I can wait for that one day where I can play Metroid Prime 4, but Metroid: Samus Returns will do me well until then.