The Adventures of Bayou Billy

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Our hero is THIS ugly mug?

WHAT THE FLYING F*** IS THIS??? It’s time isn’t it. It’s really time! Eh, it’s another reason to hate Konami I guess. The Adventures of Bayou Billy, developed and published by Konami and was released in 1989 in the US and 1991 in Europe. Because £6.99 may have been worth it considering I’m playing a physical NES cartridge…PAL version, but hopefully this version will be a bit easy on me…right?

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Welcome to Louisiana! We steal your women because F*** YOU!!!

Voice actor Billy West (I think), known as Bayou Billy, is a survivalist, vigilante, and former U.S. soldier. He once defeated the crime boss, Godfather Gordon. Oh, did I mention Billy has a girlfriend named Annabelle…yeah, Annabelle, there’s Gordon, you go with him, Gordon, you drive away with her, Billy, go save her and you may survive…emphasis on “may survive”. As for you lot, Welcome to Louisiana! You’re in for the trip of a lifetime!

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“Kill the Beast! Cut his throat! Spill his Blood!”

So what do we have here? Well, the game has three different genres, but let’s start with the beat ’em up levels. You can kick and punch enemies, some may have weapons and you can even use them against enemies. The combat is basic and all but…this game is HAAAAAARD!!! Think you can smash the skulls of an enemy and they’ll go down? NOPE! They will hit you and hit you hard, your health bar will drain and drain fast. If you stay in one place you will get hit, you can’t just stop and punch an enemy, you have to move, hit, move and repeat and avoid getting hit…let me rephrase that, repeat and just get hit. So if you do collect a weapon, cling onto that for dear life.

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YOU WILL REMEMBER THIS SCREEN!

And this is no fun considering that in usual beat ’em ups, you’re mashing buttons and the enemy will go down, it only gets challenging if an enemy from behind attacks you or an enemy counterattacks after a while, but with The Adventures of Bayou Billy, you get no chance for any of that. It gives you no mercy, no second chances; its name is The Adventures of Bayou Billy.

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Death by Alligator!

At this point, I gave up, after half an hour of gameplay; I couldn’t even get past the first stage. But one day, I was curious, looking at eBay and finding Mad City for the Famicom, it was made by Konami and I became curious and went to research the game. And then I was in absolute surprise when I found out that this was the Japanese version of Bayou Billy. My curiosity continued, as I downloaded a ROM of it just to see any differences…and I managed to beat Stage One…then the game. WAIT WHAT???

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I never knew there was hope…Konami are still douchebags though, don’t you worry!

Mad City was released in Japan in 1988, a year before the US version. So what are the differences? IT’S MUCH EASIER!!! It has a little bit of challenge to it but it’s nothing like the western version. Enemies have less health and are less prone to hit you even when you’re attacking them…well they still do it but it’s more balanced. Your health bar is the same but drains much slowly so you have a fair chance.

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OH CRAP! I’M GETTING SHOT AT BY PSY!!!

And because of this, I was able to beat the first stage. And so, I can talk about the next genre in this game: Rail Shooter. Now I could have used an NES Zapper, but I don’t have one, but thankfully you can just use the controller. In these levels, you just shoot baddies with a limited amount of bullets; you’ll get some items during the levels like health, more bullets when you start the levels since you get a small amount in the NES version. They’re OK and even if I used the controller, it plays pretty good but I guess it would have been better with an NES Zapper…again, I’m playing the Famicom version because even when I got to this part in the NES version via Game Genie, health just withered away like my happiness (Time to go back to that Famicom version).

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Time to shoot down the US equivalent of the White Van Man!

And finally, we have the driving sections in which you ride on a Jeep, where you shoot cars and throw explosives at planes. In the Famicom version, the Jeep can get damaged until it gets destroyed and you get some health if you collect random barrels because this is a video game. In the western version, one-hit death…as expected.

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Welcome stranger, we offer you flamboyant shirts and ASS KICKING!!!

But during my session of Mad City, I started to realise that this game is…meh. After playing this game, I can safely say how ‘meh’ it is. Bayou Billy will be remembered for how near-impossible it is, which doesn’t make the game any fun at all. Mad City will be remembered for being just an OK game.

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You’ll be severely punished: you’re playing the Japanese version you scrub!

The graphics and level design is pretty good. The combat and shooting levels look nice and detailed for the NES, the driving levels are OK but not as action-packed as I wish it was, the overall game’s design looks a teeny bit dated but good enough for the time. The music is fantastic, some repeat but man are they funky.

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Thanks for the service, you will go down in 8-bit history!

Overall…well I don’t know…I’ll just give a verdict on Mad City because Bayou Billy is just stupidly hard and it was all done to prolong the game. But Mad City is just a decent game but it’s a nice quick quality game so I’d recommend that version over Bayou Billy. So after being winning, getting the girl, limping after being beaten, bloodied, pulped all over and a stick up my backside, it’s time to leave Louisiana AND NEVER COME BACK!!!

You can get it on the NES/Famicom and Virtual Console for Wii U

Rating: 3/5

Congratulations Every Gamer! You’ve won an award for writing a review without making any Crocodile Dundee jokes.

Ha! Jokes on you, I’ve never seen the movies. STREUTH!!!

It’s September and we have another month dedicated to a game series, I did Zelda, I did Sonic, but who’s next? You’ll have to find out next week!

Fell free to take a look at my Facebook page, where you’ll find review posts, my art work and maybe some other random bits and bobs.

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