Donkey Kong ’99

Well I ordered a Super Famicom but just the console, apparently you can use the PAL controllers, av cable and a Mega Drive model 1 plug, am I right? Fingers crossed. With that I also got two games Yu Yu Hakusho and Super Donkey Kong which is Donkey Kong Country…what, it was £5, much cheaper than the PAL version, so I’m waiting for the console.

Until then, Donkey Kong ’99, made by some pirates for the Sega Mega Drive in 1998, probably for Chinese gamers, you see, the games and consoles were there but were very expensive, in fact it’s stupidly pricey and that’s why if you wanted a Resident Evil game but you had a Famicom, not to worry because some pirate developers will demake it into an 8-bit game and it’s much cheaper to buy. So this game is a compressed version of Donkey Kong Country for the Mega Drive…Hey…What are you…

Ahoy mates, be ye ready fer a fantastic journey through th’ 64 colour seven seas ‘o Donkey Kong, well here we be off. ye fight as Donkey Kong as ye get to th’ spot marked X, collect bananas to get nothin’ fer collectin’ them, jump on enemies like beavers, crocodile mercenaries, snakes, birds ‘n much more ‘n everytime ye jump on them ye’ll hear either a skiddin’ ship, a lass scream or a burp.

Every a pair stages, defeat various bosses, one ‘o them twice ‘n then finally defeat Kin’ K Rool…not in his ship but in an ice seven seas in which he gunna throw his crown at ye ‘n…you don’t get hurt I be predictin’, knock him below ‘n ye get DK ‘n Diddy Kong starin’ at each other in a black void ‘o nothin’ness wit’ onminous music that gunna make ye shiver at nightfall.

Ye got graphics that dont need 256 colours to look jolly, ye got music that be ripped from anythin’, ’tis a rip-roarin’…GO AWAY, anyway, yeah it has some embarrasing graphics, ripped-off music, and it’s challenging, but surprisingly, for a bootleg game it’s actually pretty good, sure it’s more limited than the SNES original but for a hackjob it does a good job, it does however finally answer the question whether the game could have been officially ported to the Mega Drive, I think RareWare could have pulled it off, it’s not the best game ever but it’s the best bootleg game I ever played.

Does it matter if you play it on an emulator, it was a rip-off anyway.


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